My mother was a narcissist.

Even now, just saying that makes my chest tighten.

I grew up never knowing which version of her I would get — the kind one or the cruel one. I walked on eggshells every day, anxious and afraid. I lost my sense of truth. I doubted myself constantly. I didn’t know how to love, or be loved.

For years, I carried so much shame and guilt, as if everything was my fault. I thought I was the problem. But I wasn’t. I was just a child trying to survive.

It took me until the age of 35 to finally start putting the pieces together. Now, at 45, I’ve gone back to school and hold a Certificate in Global Mental Health: Trauma and Recovery from Harvard University.

If you’re going through this, my heart is with you. But know that healing is possible. And that when we finally let go... a life beyond our wildest dreams opens up. You are not broken. You are not alone. You are stronger than you think.

Your truth, your beauty, and your kindness — are ready to shine. They always were.

With love,
Alexandra